Okay so I copied Bob ong's article on how to die for my Filipino subject. Well, I think all amateur writers did that. I'm not as good as Ong but I have my own way to die. Let me think for a while. Hmmm..
1. Of course, have a valid reason. Don't be such a loser. You know what valid reason means.
2. Pick your poison. Choose the most easy but less painful. Well actually, all easy ways are painful. Fuck it death is not easy and it really hurts.
3. Prepare the materials. Buy the durable ones that will last for 2 days because if you live alone no one will go inside your house unless your smell become unpleasant.
4. Don't take a bath 2 days before the deed. This will ensure that you will be seen easily coz of your fucking smell.
5. Choose a black shirt. Blood is gory so black will minimize it's color.
6. Prepare a coffin. Only the posers can have black ones.
7. Make a suicide note. It could be as long as you want. To hell with them.
8. Have sex with someone 5 hours before the deed. This will change the time of your death that will confuse the PNP and you'll be laughing in hell.
9. Watch MTV for relaxation. Remember you'll die. No one is relaxed if they know they'll die. I recommend Rock-cola. Also, prepare a cam-corder. This will be a great treat for Cellphones with bluetooth.
10. Do it. Don't forget to turn on the camcorder para astig. Sikat ka sa kabataang noypi.
The best way to die is this.
Materials:
Makapal na tali
Alalay
6 na aso(preferably malalaki)
blindfold
cam-corder
camera
audience
5x5 wood
Instructions:
Magpatali ng patiwarik. Siguraduhin na yung kamay ay sasayad sa sahig. Magpahampas sa isang audience habang nire-record ka. Masaya yun. Papicture ka na rin. Then, paalisin mo na yung audience, papasukin ang mga aso. Makikita ka nila na duguan kaya lalapain ka nila. Wala ka nang takas pare. Anim yan. See you in hell..
Parang brutally sweet